I began documenting HIV and a family in rural America. The mother would like to remain anonymous as there are many negative stigmas associated with HIV in rural areas in the US and many feel it is too much to tell people. This is one of the main reasons I began this project. To attempt to erase some of the stigmas of HIV in rural America. For this reason, I will choose photos for this blog that do not show her face and will refer to her as Mary.
Here is her story:
Mary, a mother of three, was infected with HIV eight years ago.
She began dating her ex husband in 1993 and now believes he knew he was infected when they started dating. She found out she was infected in 1999 when he got really sick. He began getting lesions on his face but kept on telling her that they were from the chemicals he was using with his lawn service. He continued to get sick. They ended up in the ER one day. She sat in the waiting room for hours waiting to hear the results. They finally brought her back to the examining room to tell her that her husband had HIV and that she and her boys would need to be tested also.
She soon found out that she was HIV positive and hoped and prayed that her boys would be fine. “My greatest fear at first was dying because of this,” she said. Both her boys were negative. Within a year, she became pregnant with her third who is now 6.
During the time when she was with her ex, she didn’t tell anyone that she was infected. He was abusive and wouldn’t allow her to have friends or work or talk to her family. As soon as she left him, she called her brother. This was the first time she had told anyone that she had HIV other than health professionals.
Outside of her family and the women she works with, to this day, no one else knows she has HIV. That is her greatest fear, that people will find out and treat she and her family differently.
Her boys continue to ask for a new dad and she would love to start dating again but her greatest fear is falling in love with someone and then having to tell them that she is HIV positive.
